How to be a slacker writer



(for Jill and Laurie)

Find a place to sit, and sit down.
Remember to pay your bills and reset your email password.
Look up the recipe for pork loin- how long does it have to be in the oven?

Do your homework, do your homework,
always do your fucking homework.
Do the work of others first.
Make yourself tired and cranky doing other people’s bidding.
Watch Netflix, watch Hulu, look at Facebook, watch cat videos.

Make something to eat, clean the kitchen, look at your notebook.
Get that weird feeling at the back of your skull-
that shield of armor numb feeling.
Drink a glass of water.
Make a grocery list.

Go to therapy and talk about writing.
Feel shitty about not writing.
Look at the books on your shelf about writing.
Avoid them.

Lose all your pens.
Lose your notebook under a pile of mail.
Don’t forget to feel guilty.
Don’t forget to feel like a failure.
Don’t forget to feel like an impostor.

Sit down in your chair.
Listen for that voice that says “write me”
and when it shows up, just do what it says.
Feel like you can do anything for the rest of the day.

Let doubt creep back slowly in the morning.
Try again.
Try again.
Try again.

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